I cant thank You enough

wow... it seems lately I've been writing alot... but really not about anything that matters much.

where has the Lord been these past few days? its like I've put Him in the back of my mind while trying to convince myself I wasn't doing that at all...

and the truth is... He's just waiting on me. as usual. to stop being a jerk.

I love that no matter how many times I have heard the song A Little Longer by Brian and Jenn Johnson... it never gets old. ever. because I feel like it displays the heart of the Father so well.... He just wants my attention, He just wants me close to Him. after all, He is jealous for me. I don't think that reality has actually hit me yet...

"You don't have to do a thing, just simply be with Me and let those things go, they can wait another minute. Wait, this moment is too sweet, would you please stay here with Me and love on Me a little longer because I'm in love with you."

daaannnggg.... thats what He wants from me! oh how I want to love on Him a little longer... He's so intimate!

geez... man I love Him sooooo much!!!! He is sooo good!!!! I'm probably going to start dancing around my apartment right now... but honestly I'm scared Victoria and the gang (Kristina and Karolina) will come in and catch me.... I look funny enough as it is.

I have made a commitment. that I will sing throughout it all... that I will give thanks to You no matter what happens. no matter what happens!! I will rely on You instead of relying on all my anxieties... goodbye acid reflux!! haha... but really! You are my joy!! my song!! my lover!!

He's good :)

Purple Toes

I guess I'll take this time to tell you about my Thanksgiving. Me and Lori made delicious food and all the boys ate it up. We watched Seth play guitar hero and gears of war... the loads of blood and all. what a nice thing to be thankful for.

I also went and saw the movie "Australia" with some friends and enjoyed it very much, no matter how long it was.

Tonight I painted my toenails purple. and I can't stop looking at them... because I hate them so much. but I'm trying to see how long I can stand it...

I don't really have much to say, even though I have a lot on my mind. I don't really want to share it I guess...sorry about that. don't feel too depressed.

Callahan

I feel like every bad guy... or big guys company in movies is named Callahan.

Like in Tommy Boy. which I am watching right now.

I'm at Cliffs apartment right now. I went to work tonight at 6 and left by 6:15... because they told me they didn't need me since we were so slow all day today. how lame is that?? I needed money!!

Cliff's a loser. he just came out of his room with a silly hat on. I, however, am wearing an awesome hat.

i just noticed that Zach has a tattoo that says "Southern by the grace of God".... wow.

thats funny.

Cliffs a tool. he just stole my car keys. and tried to close my computer. how immature!

just saying.

my stomach hurts.

cliff just told me  i sound like a 2 year old.

Vespa

Today me and Mike Bond walked to headquarters to pick up a very very important package. You must understand that this package was of utter importance and could destroy life as we know it if stolen and damaged. It was a very challenging task, but we succeeded in bringing it back to the YFN offices safely. Sure there were a few lives lost, but nothing compared to the tragedy that would have been if those who stood in our way got their hands on our documents/cash. 

Vespa and Richard= world famous CIA agents ready to save the world.

"Just call me fast hands!"

I said that. To Mike. We were whispering pretty much the whole time we were handling the important package; and we quickly realized that some of our funny statements sound very strange when uttered in a whisper. Such as...

"I like that in a lady"

"We can do that now!"

"Just call me fast hands"

.... just not appropriate.

We went to eat at Tops Cafe for Juddson's birthday today... I wasn't yelled out when I went to pay, so that was good. I enjoyed my BLT very much thank you.

I'll probably write more later. I just like to think that I'm witty.

red hoodies

I want to start off by saying that the Lord convicted me today. I'm sorry Shira!!

So last week, at least three days out of the week me and Aaron Allen matched. Like, we wore the same clothes... basically. This just proves our theory that we share the same father... we're onto you John! We both wore button down white dress shirts one day, the next day we both wore our red hoodies, and then even yesterday he wore black chords, I wore olive green chords, he wore an olive green sweatshirt, and I wore a black jacket. Funny how that happens.

I'm getting more and more convinced we are the same person... but no technically "morphing into one". no, no that is definitely not happening.

Today me and Lori are going to go to Tom Thumb and buy groceries for Thanksgiving. Am I a housewife? No, not yet...

But I have to go now. I'm off to the Hotel California.

Tat me up

Shira Sorko Ram spoke at lecture today. All I'm going to say is... I'm very glad the Lord loves me. That He loves every part of me. And you too. And that He doesn't have a problem with tattoos... annnddd that He isn't religious. or boring. done and done.

So... Tat me up Jesus, I'm yours.

Last night me and Jill were laying in her bed reading Blue Like Jazz aloud to each other when we looked up at the bottom of the top bunk above her and saw in the right hand corner "Fairchild waz here".  Now, you must understand that the print looked like that of a mentally handicapped five year old. Needless to say, me and Jill now yell out "FAIRCHILD!" in a manly voice to get a kick out of it. its pretty funny.

FAIRCHILD!

Yesterday was good. I went to two different churches. Both amazing services. I saw three homeless broken men give their hearts to the Lord, another older man balling his eyes out as he dove prostrate on the ground in reverence to my Saviour, and two people baptized in the parking lot of a strip mall with jugs of water. Take that Shira Sorko Ram.

I made a few new friends yesterday. One, I made, then lost, then I think made again. Long awkward story... not getting into that right now!

Today I got that dizzy feeling I get often.. the one where I almost fall over... yeah, that one. While doing worship in my counseling class. I had to hold onto the piano so I wouldn't topple over. So I drank some water.

Yeah, thats all.

Text

Text?

I really only named this blog "Text" because as I was thinking for a name, I received a text message. I haven't checked it yet. I'm burning inside with curiosity.

I also just spit some coffee on my jeans. Nice one!

Today was YFN day in school; meaning Reg did worship in the morning. I've been seeking the Lord pretty hard the past week (which I should have been doing all along) and so I was looking forward to this time of worship to Him with my peers... but I honestly feel like we missed out on so much. I feel like the Lord wanted to do so much more this morning in worship but we put the reigns on Him. 

I wish things were different. I wish things were genuine.

I've got alot on my mind! Oh gosh, so much. But really its just me growing up and learning to listen to God. I want what He wants... and I'm not going to make it harder for myself anymore.

I feel like maybe this doesn't make much sense.

Oh well.

Go to Youtube and search "Balloon Shop".. you won't be disappointed.

Today Aaron Allen grabbed my leg.... because he fell. ha

Today I found out some guy I don't really know wrote a song about me.

Today I saw Zach Shea dance. And enjoyed it.

Today I walked with the Lord.

Today I ate in the cafeteria and felt sick.

Today I spit coffee all over myself.

Today me and Jill matched.

Toilet Paper

Today in lecture we had a toilet paper fight.

I enjoyed it very much; mainly because Petra was playing in the background. Beautiful music to my ears.

I also managed to grab a full roll and stick it in my bag; seeing as we were out of toilet paper at my apartment. I'm always thinking.

Then there was the leadership lunch/meeting. Always a treat. Ashley made us all laugh without meaning to as usual... however, she didn't cry this time. Thats a relief.

Now I'm going to ride bikes with a couple funny guys.

This should be interesting.. I'm always scared I'm going to fall and skin my knee... how embarrassing! 

But really, the reason I'm writing this blog right now is because of the Lord. He's teaching me to listen... really listen, because I feel like I can't hear Him in my current situation. And in my honest opinion, I think I'm doing a good job handling it and reaching out for Him while not knowing exactly whats going on. But I'm doing the best I can to really be careful and assess the situation as He wants me to. 

I've learned that its not enough to just spend certain times with Him throughout my day, I have to spend the whole day with Him... even when I'm in the middle of a toilet paper fight. Even when I'm at Walmart... even when I'm sitting her waiting to bid on a pair of boots on Ebay.

It's true. I hate those bidders who wait till the last second to bid... because I don't have all the time in the world to just sit at the computer all day.

But anyways... thats about it. God is so good to me. And to you. I'm glad He's my everything.

Today

Today I feel as though the Lord is waiting for me. He's been waiting for me to actually make time for Him. Every day. Three times a week doesn't cut it; I need Him every day. For everything He's done for me?? 

And... honestly, because I feel guilty, I avoid spending time with Him... even though I know it will make me feel so much better about my life. And even though I know He still loves me the same.  He's just waiting for me to be faithful.

I've realized that this whole growing up thing I'm doing is hard. Anyone who's having an easy time with it, please talk to me because I would love to hear about your experiences. I'm becoming who I'm supposed to be.. I'm reaching out into my destiny every day without even realizing it. Even with the mistakes I make; the things I say that I shouldn't, the places I go; the people I interact with... it's all apart of this larger scale... and I have no idea what the Lord is doing with it all. Things are starting to get serious.

It's just an adventure I suppose.

A few weeks ago, a former employee of my work came to our Halloween party. She may have been drunk but... she told me I changed her life. And that I'm an incredible person. How I changed her life? By telling her to listen to Coldplay... I told her it would change her life! There's more to the story but.. honestly, it just goes to show that the Lord is always doing something... even when you feel like your being useless and like what your trying to do for the Kingdom isn't working. Because at my work I have come into all sorts of persecution. Thats right, persecution; the Lord told me it was legit for me to use that word. HA! but really.. He did. And I've been wanting to quit because its so hard to deal with people who hate you and mock you just because your Christian. It's not a good environment for one to stay sane in, and I've been waiting for the Lord to release me from there. But He hasn't. And I know I just can't quit now.. when it gets hard. And He's starting to show me some effects of my working in such a place.. He has used me in the lives of three people. Three people I work with who may not have even given God another thought but because I'm the "Christian good girl hostess", they have. It's still hard, the snide remarks still come every time I walk in the door... but at least now I know that something is coming out of my faithfulness in this area.

This blog is long enough. Maybe someone will read it... maybe not. It's fine.. I just needed to write it.

Love