Up

so the past week and a half has been so hard. really. but the Lord is always faithful. always. even when my faith seemed to be decreasing.

He's been teaching me a lot lately. For my whole life, I have never really been a leader, I have had people lead me and tell me what to do. I never had the responsibility, partly I believe because I wasn't ready. Now I am. The Lord has been showing me that its my responsibility to be that person. To be the one that disciples. To really be the one that influences. So with this new responsibility, comes new requirements. And I'm totally okay with that, I just want to get closer and closer to Him. Not to say its easy, it hasn't been easy at all so far... but I feel His grace in my life like never before. 

I've already had to give some stuff up, but it was just fleshly stuff that my eyes were blinded to in the first place. I guess you could say I'm in the process of getting al this wickedness out of my heart. All those mean thoughts, I'm slowly becoming more and more aware of what is of the Lord and whats not.

I'm growing up I guess.

Me and Jill went to the Holocaust museum yesterday; its in the process of moving into a new building so it wasn't so huge and impressive, but it was so good and moving. I felt so insignificant and guilty. There was a quote that said something like "Evil doesn't happen because the evil people make it happen, it happens because none of the good people do anything about it." It was something like that...I don't remember exactly. But dang.